Is mental health a matter of focus only for women? How does it affect men? Why are we seeing mental health challenges popping up more often in recent years? What are the factors affecting men's mental health & emotional well-being beyond our common knowledge? Learn more about how all of it is now making men's mental health come to the forefront and how to address some of these challenges head-on! Open yourself to a revelation that can make you uncomfortable! Understand the dynamics involved in Men's Mental Health & Emotional Well-being and how to address them.
Note: This post does not intend to present any malicious or intentional sexist views or support any third-party or gender-biased benefits, agenda, or movements.
In recent years, we all have experienced some taste of what mental health & emotional well-being looks like when ignored. Thanks to the worldwide pandemic that led us to be locked down in our intimate spaces, with a scarcity of healthcare services, food supplies, and other basic facilities, we need to feel safe and secure. While for some, it has given us time closer to our families and loved ones, for others, it has been an opportunity to take upon their dormant interests in domestic skills, and for some, it has been a season to do more, get more things done, and get carried away. While we all seek experiences in our daily life routines, somehow, we all get stuck, not having enough understanding of the world, our surroundings, nature, etc. The inactivity induced by staying indoors and lacking focus led to more time being spent at work. More time spent consuming online content or working online (true of at least the urban population) led to a different type of mental & emotional imbalance we have ever seen.
Carrying on those habits, as we are now swamped by technology and the innovation it offers to ease our daily lives, we may think that our connectedness on online platforms is the only prevalent reason for having a mental health epidemic. But the truth is far from our common understanding. Spending more time on e-devices is stealing our quality of life. While that has triggered conversations on mental & emotional health, it has always been part of our evolutionary story and dug deep within the unspoken codes of society and the way humans are built to evolve.
Another common myth is that adverse effects of mental & emotional health are only seen in women but men go through more mental health issues with greater gravity through the course of their lives than we anticipate. Another one to consider is that agnostic of what role one plays in their professional life a Founder, an Entrepreneur, a Business Owner, a CxO, an Employee, a Manager, et al. it's time to open one's self to accepting life that happens to most men triggering and persisting the effects on their mental health & emotional well-being. It's time men reach out to seek help because not asking for help is diminishing them from being a dignified human under the pretext of protecting the age-old masculine code.
Women are naturally wired to showcase more Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ). It's an essential skill for businesses to grow, innovate, diversify, and sustain a culture that is performing, open, and adaptable. Having a small percentage of the existing women workforce bear the burden of exhibiting EQ does lead to many imbalances in the working dynamics and work culture of an organization of any size. That's where efforts to increase women's population in the current professional workforce are necessary and the focus to make it happen is a much needed & prevalent strategy for many organizations. But what they are lacking is to focus on the unaddressed challenges of men's mental health & emotional well-being, which is becoming an obstacle in the way of building their EQ. Ever wondered, while we all want more EQ built amongst working professionals, where the real challenge lies, and what developmental & behavioral psychology say about issues thrown under the rug? Are we ever going to see EQ being practiced or just being talked about in seminars, meetings, trainings, and strategic planning? Are men capable of building more EQ?
Let's first go through the types of behavioral responses that men at work exhibit when work dynamics issues arise within teams, groups, or organizations. Behaviors that cause many issues that are kept under the rug but encountered more often and are not helpful, and how are they exhibited?
(Behavior attributes to Creating the problem) Outright avoidance: Exhibited through deprioritizing, overlooking, discarding, delusional thinking, and gaslighting others.
(Behavior attributes to Adding to the problem) Seemingly knowing: Exhibited through fault finding in others, may be contributing to the problem themselves but lacking in self-reflection.
(Behavior attributes to Nice to Have) Actually knowing: Exhibited through knowing their stance but lacking power or priority to do anything about it.
(Behavior attributes to Good to Have) Seemingly accepting: Exhibited through knowing and doing something to show the world or with some genuineness but not enough.
(Behavior attributes to MUST-Have) Actually accepting: Exhibited through knowing, accepting, and doing things as they go along, starting with their self-management.
Potential Causes of persisting unhelpful behaviors
Knowing the potential causes is easy to read through but understanding it as it applies to you and acknowledging its presence could be a hard pill to take in. This is because of the extreme emotions like shame, guilt, pain, grief, or fear that can surface in the process of true acknowledgment, not knowing how to deal with them. Instead staying in the comforts of denial can suit well to go on with life as it is and wait until life hits oneself hard. This game of waiting not only leaves grave damage to others in one's surroundings but it leaves hard-to-repair deep scars in oneself. The waiting game can be ended by starting to understand the source & underlying deep-seated causes that are suppressed within to cause disturbing or disrupting behaviors that are hard to live by. Mentioned below (in no specific order) is a brief and not an exhaustive list of causes, for many it could be some or all potential causes that apply.
Adverse Childhood Experiences.
Covert or Overt Depression.
Externalizing or following a Religious, Societal, and/or Social Code.
Following the Masculinity Code for acceptance.
Social norms followed as Boys' upbringing.
Draw your attention here. Cultivating a better understanding of why men go through what they do, is not to demoralize, discard, or demean any living being but to help them be self-compassionate and take steps to elevate their life for the better. For other genders reading this, it's a golden opportunity to be empathetic and understand what lies behind the unspoken external reality that we often encounter is by no means is an easy feat to live by; and choose to not submit to verbal or behavioral self-serving attacks on one another.
Signs one need help!
Knowing the behaviors and potential deep-seated causes for those unhelpful behaviors is not an easy thing to register for most men unless explicitly highlighted or communicated. One needs to know a few signs that can help them come to awareness about their attribution to the problem at hand, knowing that it's time to go deep and seek help. More often, one may find themselves in some or all of the following situations, resulting in impending their usual routine and interest in life.
Extended hours at work for an extended period constantly affecting and persisting effects on low energy levels.
Affects one's immediate surroundings like family & friends complaining of lack of contribution w.r.t. time, presence, engagement, support, care, and/or attentiveness.
Notable behavioral changes like aggression and/or repression expressed through anger or rage, irritability, resentment, excessive recluse, anxiety & stress. Unjustified rigidity, inflexibility, need for control, etc. Categorically, a few behaviors frequently come up in one's surroundings, noticing extreme functioning in masculine characteristics (aggressive, ambitious, competitive, decisive, forceful, independent, individualistic, risk-taking, etc.). These often cause either the development of extreme behaviors, narcissistic traits development, or undiagnosed personality disorders. One starts saying more often, 'I can't help it, but it happens.', 'This is how it has always been.'.
Bodily, Mental, and/or Emotional changes influenced by lack of sleep, identified medical condition, or frequent mood changes.
Your go-to strategy is to submit to or give the best of your focus, time, attention, and interest to substance use which is regularly taken under the pretext of mood enhancement (alcohol, smoking, medications, drugs, addiction to foods, relationships, etc.). Excessive and/or obsessive focus on recreation, sports, work, and health routine to name a few.
What can you do?
Start with acknowledging that there is a need for introspection & self-reflection which could lead to understanding that there is something within you that is non-conducive to yourself, your environment, and the world at large; that you need help.
Working around the thought that seeking help is not challenging your masculinity but supporting rational outcomes for you.
Decide what kind of help fits your needs for better self-management and personal growth. Be truthful and realistic to yourself over being in denial to accept your real situation. Depending on whether your challenge is causing a puncture or a deflated tire (analogy of tire is used for one's best self), you'll need solutions that range from a lifestyle change to seeking Therapy. For any challenging unresolved issues that are recurring, suppressed, neglected, and detrimentally affecting you and/or your environment then there are types of assistance that hold a low chance of working i.e. your coach, counselor, or mentor is not going to be of any good help here. Therapy is an effective way to proceed, to dive deep into yourself & provide you an outlet for emotional expressions with a logical understanding of one’s current state; making one more effective than merely continuing to be more stressed, productive & busy.
Steadily cultivate a mindset to support your journey towards well-being. Some of the helpful mindsets are:
There is no time better than now!
There is no easy way. The shortest path is the longest path and the strongest one too!
Prepare for it and commit to it.
Continue prioritizing on self-care.
You are in it for the long haul.
Develop self-awareness to record progress and changes that happen over time.
What else can you do? If you are...
A CxO, Decision Maker, or Policy Maker | In any stream of business, organization, industry community, or public welfare organization |
|
A Manager, Working Professional | In any stream of business, organization, industry community, or public welfare organization |
|
An Individual |
|
|
Lastly, know that this journey won't be easy and you may find many reasons to delay it but it'll catch up with you inadvertently. So take a leap of faith and take the first step towards the health you truly deserve and the well-being you always longed for.
Your action matters!
Share your views by taking this anonymous poll.
When are you willing to take Therapy?
Within 1 - 3 months time
Within 6 months time
I will considering it
I won't take it
About Author: Tejal Rathod (she/her) is a 'Management Psychology & Workplace Well-being' Peter Drucker Management Excellence Award-winning expert Success Coach & Therapist, Author, Speaker, and Founder at eDC (www.elementsdcoach.com), having over two decades of diverse corporate work experience. She believes in leaving a legacy of positive work culture through personal growth and elevating one’s consciousness for meaningful success in life. Tejal engages with Individuals, Professionals, and Organizations worldwide while specializing in Work Dynamics & Culture, Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, Behavioral Transformation, Professional Skills Development, Mental Health & Emotional Well-being, and Holistic Lifestyle Coaching.
Use this opportunity to upgrade yourself from this 101 information to diving deeper into facets of Mental Health & Emotional Well-being as applicable in your life as a Working Professional or an Individual. Coach yourself to Meaningful Success, Personally & Professionally!
Get the Book – ‘Wo/Man, Work IT Out!’, Click here.
Consider gifting your teams, Write to Us.
For Lifestyle Guidance to Therapy Sessions, Speaking Engagements, Workshops, and Corporate Consultations check out our Services.
or Write to Us at connect@elementsdcoach.com.
Disclaimer: No written part of this post is produced using AI Assistance. Thoughts or terminology presented in this blog are individual perspectives and are neither meant to cause harm in any form, make any incorrect judgments, present details in full, nor gain undue influence from or promote any (if) mentioned organization and/or entity and/or persons and/or religious beliefs. This post does not intend to present any malicious or intentional sexist views or support any third-party or gender-biased benefits, agenda, or movements. Use your discretion while making inferences. Some of the gender characteristics balance & inclusivity benefit statistics can be read here. Some of the inferences in this blog are inspired by the works of Dr. Terrence Real. Images credit wix.com. All rights reserved. 2024 eDC - elementsD Coach Professional Services.
Comments